Garnier SkinActive Clean+ Pore Purifying Clay Cleanser Mask (AKA The Mask of Pain)

Diverging from Monday's talk about depression, I'm kicking it old school with some skincare. Or skin... suffering? Skin punishment? Whatever it is you call it when a supposedly harmless face mask gives you straight up chemical burn and pustules.

Yeah, it was bad. I'll apologize in advance for my face. Consider the pictures a cautionary tale.

Anyhow, back to the start: I was recently gifted an entire lot of face masks, and this was one of them. After a nasty bout of food poisoning and hormonal flare-ups, my skin was a little -- okay, much -- worse for wear, so I decided to give the Garnier SkinActive Clean + Pore Purifying Clay Cleanser Mask (whew! try saying that five times in a row) a go.
The premise is simple and right up my alley: you can either use it as a cleanser to prevent breakouts (so they claim), or you can use it as a face mask to draw out impurities. Since I'd never used it before, I decided I would test it out as a mask.

What could be the harm? Famous last words.

Within seconds of applying the mask to my face, I felt a tingling sensation. "Okay, that means it's working," I thought. Oh, how wrong I was.

Thirty seconds post-application, the tingling became an uncomfortable heat. My face felt sunburned. I said to myself, "Dude, that's not normal." Frantically wetting the softest washcloth I could find, I began dabbing the mask off as quickly as I could only to discover red, tender skin beneath.
By this point, the discomfort had become actual pain. It was so intense my ears turned red! (And, yes, I am wearing a cat-eared headband and a Minions sweatshirt!)
What the hell, Garnier?! 

And it feels worse than it looks. If even water touches my skin, it burns like the hellfire and damnation most of us here in the Deep South have been threatened with a time or two. The texture of my face is rough even after several applications of aloe. I'm a mess.

So that's the story of the Mask of Pain. 0/10, would not recommend. If your skin is even the slightest bit sensitive, run far, far away. Do not pass Go; do not collect $200.

It's not worth it. Trust me.

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