Day 28: People Who Suck (And Why You Should Avoid Them)

9:28 PM

Because the only asshole you have in your life should be your own. 

Am I crazy, or does it seem like everyone is having personal drama lately? Whether the cause of your drama is a friend, coworker, partner, or family member, it's up to you to decide to cut ties or not. But for future reference, here are five types of losers to keep an eye out for so you can run like hell and hopefully avoid drama later on down the line.
1.) The Elvis. Don't get me wrong! I love The King as much as anybody, but I'm thinking of the whole thing where he shot a television because he didn't want to see someone's face onscreen. You know the type of person I mean. Saying one wrong word out of one thousand sends them off the deep end into a shitstorm of shouting -- and possibly throwing things -- and then they either throw it back up in your face constantly, or it blows over, and they expect you to act like nothing happened. No. Just... no. 
2.) The Sheeple. They seemingly have no opinions of their own; they always say "I don't care" when asked a question. And yet, you're somehow expected to know their true feelings, because if you really cared, you would develop Charles Xavier-level telepathy and read their fucking minds. Life is too short to play that game. 
3.) The Time Bandit. When they need you, they need you, and they really, really need you. Your phone basically overheats and explodes from their constant texting when they're in a jam, but they mysteriously vanish off the face of the earth if you ever need someone to talk to. Time is your most valuable commodity. Don't give it away to someone who doesn't deserve it. 
4.) The Pretender. You really have no idea who this person is beneath the mask. They talk shit to you about everyone else they know, so you can guarantee they talk shit about you behind your back. They know everyone, get invited to all the right places, but they're only in it for personal gain. Given the choice between trusting your secrets to this person and swimming with sharks, take your chances with Jaws. 
5.) The Weight. This is the person who responds to every happy piece of news with "caution." We all need a friend who will pull us aside and advise us not to quite our day job to launch a line of "mood ring" clothing -- that was already attempted in the late 80s/early 90s -- but if they never have a positive word to offer, stay away. They're incapable of happiness, and they'll only drag you down with them.

What kinds of people do you avoid, and why?

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